


Humble Inquiries

by INMH



Series: after the evacuation (pacifist ending) [13]
Category: Detroit: Become Human (Video Game)
Genre: (I mean kind of), Drunk Texting, Epistolary, Gen, Humor, Sexual Content, Strong Language
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-30
Updated: 2018-07-30
Packaged: 2019-06-18 11:51:06
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 630
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15485124
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/INMH/pseuds/INMH
Summary: Gavin has questions. And a phone. And a lot of alcohol in his system.





	Humble Inquiries

[---]  
   
(Well, nothing ventured, nothing gained.)  
   
[--------------------------------------------------]  
  

**GOOGLE**  
   
SEARCH: _Do androids have_  
   
**[GOOGLE SEARCH] [I’M FEELING LUCKY]**

   
SEARCH: _Do androids have..._  
_Do androids have **dicks**_  
_Do androids have **vaginas?**_  
_Do androids have **genitals?**_  
_Do androids have **real hair?**_  
_Do androids have **souls?**_  
   
[--------------------------------------------------]  
   
(Of course the sex results are at the top. Helpful.)  
   
[--------------------------------------------------]  
   
**TECHLIFE FORUMS (CYBERLIFE AND BEYOND!)**  
   
**[TOPIC]: re: android junk**  
   
[ROBOFUCKER83] _so… what’s the deal with androids and their wiggly bits, if you get my meaning?_  
   
_is it just sex-bots that have them or do the others?_  
   
[CYBERLIFECYBERLIE] _Good Golly, folks, I wonder why robofucker83 would be asking about android dicks /s_  
   
_Please go back to whatever fetish site you crawled out of._  
   
[THEDROIDISALIE] _lol_  
   
[MARIMARCUS] **THIS COMMENT HAS BEEN REMOVED BY THE MODERATORS**  
   
[CYBERLIFECYBERLIE] RE: MARIMARCUS _Literally no one needed to know that. I almost feel like I should call the cops._  
   
[--------------------------------------------------]  
   
(He groaned; of course the asker would be an android-fucker. He scrolled down.)  
   
[--------------------------------------------------]  
   
[ANDALUSIANLULLABY] _Aright so as much of a dumpster fire as this thread is, and as hesitant as I am to respond to anyone who is so blatantly advertising that they fuck androids, I’ll clarify for everyone else:_  
   
_Most androids have genitalia. Males have it in a casing for reasons that should be obvious to anyone who took basic biology in middle school, but they have it. Some older models may not have them, and I don’t even know what the deal with the brand-spanking new ones Cyberlife had to release under the new laws. I assume they’re completely assembled, but I guess you’d have to ask Cyberlife (or one of them directly) if they’ve got it._  
   
_(Please don’t ask them directly. I’m looking at you, robofucker83.)_  
   
[--------------------------------------------------]  
   
(Perfect.)  
   
[--------------------------------------------------]  
  

**[BUZZ LIGHTYEAR]**

 

 

**YOU:**  
_hey bot boy_

   
**RK900:**  
_Did you need something, Detective?_  
 

 

**YOU:**  
_do you have a dcik_

   
**RK900:**  
_Misspelling aside, I assume you meant ‘do you have_  
_genitalia’. The answer is yes._  
   
**RK900:**  
_Why are you asking if I have genitalia?_  
 

 

**YOU:**  
_are u a virgin_

   
**RK900:**  
_I have never engaged in sexual intercourse with_  
_anyone before. I repeat: Why are you asking me_  
_this?_

 

**YOU:**  
_curious_  
   
**YOU:**  
_so you can get a hardon_

   
**RK900:**  
_I am physically capable of it, yes._  
_Have you been drinking, Detective?_  
 

 

**YOU:**  
_maybe_

   
**RK900:**  
_Go to sleep, Detective. I will see you at work_  
_tomorrow._  
 

 

**YOU:**  
_dno’t tell mewhat to do_

   
**RK900:**  
_Good night, Detective._  
 

 

**YOU:**  
_don’t hanngup on me_  
   
**YOU:**  
_ITS AN HONEST QUESTON YOU COWARD_  
   
**YOU:**  
_ASSHOLE_  
   
**YOU:**  
_HEY_  
   
**YOU:**  
_PICKUP_  
   
**YOU:**  
_fine fuck you then_

   
[--------------------------------------------------]  
   
(He’d deal with the prick tomorrow.)  
   
[--------------------------------------------------]  
 

(“Not a word.”  
  
“But-”  
  
“Not a _fucking_ word, C-3PO. My head is pounding and I don’t want to fucking hear it from you. Sit at your desk and do your shit and we won’t have any problems.”  
  
“The nature of the texts you sent me last night were concerning.”  
  
“I’m not talking about that right now. Especially not with you.”  
  
“You were drunk.”  
  
“No shit.”  
  
“And you were asking me about my- _mff._ ”  
  
“Don’t. Say. It.”  
  
“…These are questions you could have asked me while sober.”  
  
“Yeah, well, never would have occurred to me to ask them sober. I don’t want to know, I don’t need to know about- about what I asked last night. I never want to discuss it again.”  
  
“Curiosity is perfectly normal.”  
  
“No.”  
  
“You’re unfamiliar with android biology and that’s perfectly- _mmf._ ”  
  
“What combination of beeps and boops do I have to put together to convince you to _stop saying this shit out loud and leave me alone?_ ”  
  
“Please stop putting your hand over my mouth.”  
  
“Only if you shut up.”  
  
“If you insist, Detective.”  
  
“Thank fuck.”  
  
…  
  
…  
  
…  
  
“You can always ask, is what I’m saying.”  
  
“I will take you out back and feed you your teeth. Fucking test me.”  
  
“No thank you.”)  
   
-End


End file.
